Aspect of Error Poem When a Woman is Past Her Prime
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Poem Subject Analysis
A woman in her thirties becomes wary of her age. If she hasn't had children yet, she begins to realize that her child bearing years are running out, aspect of error is running high. If she has had children, she begins to realize that there is another part of life coming up that she is not prepared for emotionally.
Socially, we women are trained to be young, and then the training ends. Stemming from all of this is the question of sexual prowess, the ability or inability to attract men for sexual purposes. Bottom line, she wants to know if she's still got it or not.
The woman narrator in this poem thought she did still have it. She'd counted on having the ability to keep any lover she wanted, one in particular, forever; or at least longer than now. She realizes her aspect of error is higher than she could have ever imagined. It is not only one of the most difficult things she has had to go through, but it is even more devastating than anything in the political world that moved her to sadness or remorse. She has been on top, a leader, and now she has been captured, persecuted for her declining age. How she finds out is perhaps the biggest slap in the face, one that will sting for quite some time. The warning signs accumulate in slow motion in this dream like scene, until her imminent rejection is realized and understood by her, despite anything she could say.
Poem Structure
"Aspect of Error" is written in free verse. While formed with stanzas, the stanzas hold no conservative form. The reason for the use of stanzas in this free verse poem is to separate moments of thought and action, as well as to provide the reader with the knowledge that there should be a longer pause held in its reading at the stanza end point.
As for punctuation, that which is used here is limited, and serves, for the most part, to separate either a moment within a moment, or as a pause in the narrators thought or telling of the story. Punctuation always works here as a sign to the reader that a longer pause is to be held between words, lines, or stanzas than would naturally come. Capitalization at the beginning of each stanza remains uniform both for visual uniformity as well as to mark the beginning of each with importance.
Aspect of Error
Crying, again.
This time not because the cardboard statues of Osama line the desert
not because that night-time ghost no longer comes to visit
and not because my sadness of Saddam Hussein came
the moment of his capture and again.
Not this time.
My youth and love have slipped away
in my dreams marked dead on a tree
x's in black tape kept in place with hunting knives for all to see
He gave me black gloves with rhinestone clips
given as a token, a "Please wear...
for me."
I had to ask
in my sorry state of confidence and confusion,
"Do you want me?
Am I sexy?"
Honest came the answer
as always into my eyes
only this time, his weren't all there
this time, he didn't want to see the pain he knew it would cause
afraid I might crush him with the weight.
She'd called me mum
knowing the slap would sting beyond that of anger
that phrase marking her territory, like dogs piss
her body slinking, slithering, close enough
claiming her spot without a doubt,
as I would have
Once upon a time
I had a lover.
He would have dropped everything for me.
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A poem that certain is both unique and thought provoking. I loved it!
The poem is so wonderful and pinpoints so perfectly the dilemma of the mid-life woman watching her sexual power drain away and fearing what comes afterwards-- and not yet knowing that to be past one's prime is definitely NOT to be passed one's expiration date:-) Kudos and I'm bookmarking and sharing this one
Well written. You kept me reading. I married at 32 and started having children at 35. I know that as I entered my 30s with no prosepect of either of those things I felt unlovely and old. You capture those feelings.
A powerful and gripping poem. I'm going to be seeing "x's in black tape" for a long time. And the photo is an extraordinary complement. Up and awesome!
I like this poem. The image of the woman in the spoon screams of need for human contact and affection.
Uniquely honest. I couldn't stop reading it and then suddenly, I related. A profound piece.
Actually this is very sad. We shouldn't be judged for anything based on our age. I personally don't see age as a barrior but a sign of wisdom.
Thank you so much all of you who read this and to those of you who commented, much appreciated. I'm glad that I could strike a chord and that there are those out there that could relate in one way or another.
SusieQ42, I am in agreement with you in so far as age being a sign of wisdom. But I have to say that it is not always the case, it does depend on the person, and the age and the experiences. And being wise and "still having it" are two very different things in our society. Sad, yes, but there you have it.
So good. I like that you don't shy away from the painful parts. I remember in my mid-thirties getting a Victoria's Secret catalog in the mail and bursting into tears when I realized they didn't even sell my bra size. Got past it all, but ouch. Thank you for sharing honestly.
Very Powerful Poem and Introduction Frieda. You last two lines sum it all up oh so well. Painful and Truthful...But we are Women heard us ROAR at any age...Set a New Stage, that's what life is anyway. I look forward to Following your Hubs, and Thank You for becoming a Follower of mine.
Hi Frieda, my mother used to make a giant, deep banana pudding pie and line the outside of the dessert with the vanilla wafers. That was the image I had and wondered why they would put cardboard in the dessert. Could you mean "desert?"
I love the poem. I am writing another travelogue/murder series in which the elite of the modeling world compete for the super rich. In my research--it's a dirty job but somebody has to do it--I have tried to include the most beautiful faces. It must be hard for the older models and actresses (as it was for me) to see themselves on Google images in the before and now versions.
Natasha Kinski was the ultimate beauty with a snake in her day and now they would not even invite her to the competition.
It is so nice to see you posting here again. As a writer, you will always be sexy and no slinky wisp could write herself within miles of you.
Remember...."there is no spoon." =:)
OMG major! Yes, Winsome, I very well ought to and should mean desert!!!!!!! Thank you thank you! I must have had a sweet tooth yelling at me. :P
So true, your story about the modeling world, and really, so close to how the rest of the world socially reacts the the aging/sexuality phenomenon. (Yes, its a very dirty job, and I suppose better you than someone else ;).
It feels great to be here. I'm so glad they're having this contest. It's going to take me a while to catch up to all the entries and it's only the second day! I'm hoping you've entered because your writing is completely the motts.
Are you sure there's no spoon, lol; I could go for some Strawberry soup.
Pam, thank you so much for popping in to read this. I went through the same thing with the Victoria's Secret Catalog, seriously! Took a while to get over that one. My daughter is wearing clothes I wore just five years ago. I'm glad I don't fit into them now, because I'm so happy to be the figure that I currently have (even if the world of men may not as a whole), but I can't say it felt very good at the time. Not at all in fact. There was a whole period of not being able to fit into anything I WANTED to wear; and I suppose it still is to a large extent, but when I do find something I love and that loves me back, I'm more than satisfied. Anyway, there's no point in shying away from the painful parts, because if we do it's all the worse, and somehow or other we're all in it together. Well, many of us anyway. Thanks, Pam.
b. malin, thank you so much. I'm proud to be a follower of your wonderful stories and writing. And you're darn tootin', we are Women hear us ROAR no matter what our age! Always a new stage to surprise us, and this is good. Always something to grow into, always something to realize, always something... Keeps us on our toes.
Interesting to me is the confusion in her mind between being given a gift and confusing with it sex - like the two are the same - carry the same weight and meaning in her mind.
Thanks Frieda for another amazing hub!
I love the parade of emotions pictured here so vividly.
Hey there Candie! Great point. It was another sign. She knew, but didn't want to know that it was more of a goodbye gift, a cover up your body gift, an I see you differently now gift. It came after her crucifixion which she hoped, somewhere inside her, was a tie me up game. She wasn't ready to give up yet.
Ola Tom! Thanks dearly. =) Unlocking poetry one poem at a time.
It's amazing to me all the overlapping layers of thought a piece of clothing, a gift, an ending of a lifetime of 'self'..
I've re-read your poem several times and the comments from your followers too . . . lots to think about here and much of it hard to (personally) digest. Thanks for making me think!
Good poem! Honesty in poetry, heartfelt, is the best!
Oooh to age and wonder if I've still got it or not...
Excellent reading material, excellent :)
Hi, Truckstop Sally. You're welcome.
Keith, thanks so much. I'm really pleased you like this one. Wasn't sure what a man's take on this would be, so I'm very glad the you and Tom appreciate this.
Hi Ardie. Fantastic to see you here. Thanks so much! It's really not, of course, but it can feel like the ultimate question, can't it?
I ponder the question almost daily!! The answer varies ;)
Powerful poem. I found the use of the historical current events fascinating here. Thanks for sharing.
This was a powerful beautiful poem; expressing deep emotions.
stunning and powerful.
Ardie, I've been thinking about it, and I really don't know when that question ceases to exist in your minds. I haven't gotten there yet I don't think.
Hi Denise Handlon. I'm so glad you mention the historical current events in this. They are very telling. Thank you.
QudsiaP1 thank you.
Hi Storytellersrus, so wonderful to see you here. Glad you had a read and am so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks so much.
Yep, back again to read it once more in fact. I guess it speaks to me on a deep level! This woman past her prime, indeed...
Storytellersrus, thanks so much. It feels so good to know that so many are connecting so strongly to this poem. I've actually gotten quite a few e-mails from people; it's a very special thing when your words can do that as I'm sure you know. Great to see you here again.
Jewels Level 3 Commenter 6 months ago
Unusual and deep.